if the possibility of only selling 2 pieces in a whole year is on the table, and it certainly is, then i will make sure I'll be rejected because of my own true work, rather than something else!

i can take making stuff that no one else likes, but i cannot take wasting my time, money and energy into producing something that is not truly what i like, not truly a manifestation of who i am and what concerns me or a truthful visual representation of what my values of elegance decadence and beauty are! and having that being rejected.

so! the important thought is: fuck that shit! i ain't making no more crap that isn't me.

from now on I'll look at my work bench and I'll identify, I'll look at the final pieces and I'll identify, I'll look at the photos of the final work and I'll identify and I'll look at my website and I'll identify and I'll look at everything that i make and be satisfied that in one way or another it identifies who i am, because there's no point is making anything else but the work you truly believe in.

what if a spring rose is a flop and no one wants to buy it?!

this horrible idea only actually occurred to me after the range went live. for some reason i had been safely sheltered for this possibility. what if in fact, only, lets say, 2 pieces ever sold in the entire next year? what was i to say and think to myself?

Joao, in 2012, out of 7 pieces you have invested time, money and effort into making, only 2 have sold. just 2.

don't really want to write about the obvious questions that would arise , but something did occur to me that i do want to write about.

the title of this entry was actually my first idea for the title of my next range. i have since moved on (after some constructive criticism).

even before i had finished a spring rose, i already knew what the next range was going to be like. i can be very decisive. then i finished the last range and it went for sale online and i could finally start focussing on the next project. did sketches and organised ideas. everything was going brilliantly.

then, decided that the website was crap and had to change it (yet again). needed to be easier to update and nicer to look at. had to be more me (continuously torturous quest).

while trying to make the website more me, i stumbled upon a natural question: the website is just the digital house for the work i make, if the house needs to be more me, what about the work? in all honesty i only ask these questions because i know the answer isn't what i want to hear.

the collection i have just finished is definitely not me! the collection i was planning to do next wasn't either.